And people can be “creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” (How to Win Friends and Influence People.)

Nearly every day I see people react to their frustrations and annoyances of the others around them with sharp criticism and rebuke.

I am human, I do it too. But whenever I can, I try to learn from the wisdom of Abraham Lincoln, who said,

“Don’t criticize them, they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.”

And this is a very true sentiment. But what are we to do when we see someone do something that we know is wrong, when we know we have the solution to their problems?

The answer isn’t simple. But here’s one rule to live by:

Always remember that sharp criticism may inevitably lead the person you criticize down a path of resentment and perhaps even retribution.

You see, people fear condemnation as much if not more than they crave approval. And when criticized, a person will justify his behavior fiercely.

So how can we use this knowledge of human nature in our marketing?

The first thing to do is to always remember these principles when discussing or writing about your competiton. Any negative criticism you engage in about your competiton can make you look small, and even conniving.

Secondly, you must always be wary when you comment on your prospect’s “existing conditions.”

Some contractors, when surveying a job in the beginning, are tempted to go on and on to the client about what a disaster their existing structure is, and how badly the guy who built it screwed the pooch.

But I am here to ask you to think twice about your critical comments.

I’ve seen more than one job lost after a heavy dose of criticism in the name of “construction expertise.” But tread lightly.

For example, I know of a guy who did an initial remodel consultation for a potential client.

He walked around the house and just lambasted the poor quality of the structure, and pointed out all the flaws he could see.

And what happened?

His words struck such a dramatic cord, the homeowner ended up selling the house and moving! And the house was only 3 years old.

It could have been a nice project, with a good margin. But sharp criticism ruined it.

So, lets take a lesson from our good buddy Mr. Lincoln. Lets hold back on the criticism. There are better, more effective ways to influence people.

Check out these awesome resources on influence.

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